For the past few weeks I’ve been feeling like I’ve been lacking my normal motivation when it comes to my workout and eating routine. And I get it–motivation comes and goes and a lot of my fitness routine comes from habits that I’ve created. But, this time it feels different. I don’t feel the need to have my life revolve around my eating and workouts. And to be honest, I find myself getting annoyed when I see posts about being stressed during the holiday season because it’s getting you “off track.” We’re getting off track from having slightly more defined abs? I don’t know. I guess I’ve realized that I want my fitness and eating routine to help boost my confidence and make me feel better overall without being so fixated on the slightest physical changes…
For the last several years I’ve been so focused on hitting my fitness goals. When I first started working out it was because I wanted to see physical changes–to feel more confident in my own skin. Over the years, I’ve achieved those physical results and I’ve also developed a love for fitness and working out. I also realized through my journey though that my confidence and happiness doesn’t come from how I look. With that said, I still have fitness goals regarding my aesthetics that I want to achieve from time to time but overall I am happy and confident with how I look and feel. And while I’ve achieved this state for probably close to a year–the last few weeks I have felt something new/different.
Recently, I haven’t felt the same desire or passion to get to the gym each day. Nor have I had the strong desire to hit my macros exactly (which I always do lol). So, yeah. At first I thought it was lack of motivation and that I was just being lazy (which isn’t like me) but as time has passed I’ve been able to pinpoint what I’m feeling and it’s not lack of motivation or discipline–just a change in priorities.
I’ve realized that my priorities have just shifted for now. While health and fitness will always be a priority it’s just not my top priority at the moment. In the past I would have my workouts and eating habits explicitly planned out. I knew exactly what workout I would do each day and I knew that I would be hitting my macros minimum 5x/week. And don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been feeling stressed or restricted doing this. This routine actually doesn’t feel regimented at all–it fit naturally into my lifestyle. But at the same time, I’m at the point where if my macros are off a few days a week its fine. If I only workout 4-5x a week it’s okay.
To be honest, I still have a hard time fully grasping and accepting this and I kind of realized that this wekend when we were in New York. I still have my moments where I see other women who have completely embraced their fitness routine and have these incredible results. Some days I still want that. Some days I’m like–that was my life for so long and I’m hungry for more of that. But then other days I just want to be “normal.” I don’t want to be so fixated on the grind of fitness and health that the other areas of my life start to be lackluster. And I realize that I can’t have my cake and eat it too. Granted, I think I do a pretty good job at sticking to my fitness regimen but I realize that I can’t do it all to the extent that I want to–something has to give. So at this point, part of it is a matter of filling my time with others things I’d rather focus on and the other part of it is having the time. Between working fulltime at the hospital and on my on my brand and blog, Stephen and I are also starting a podcast (surprise!). So, I just have to prioritize my time and my fitness regimens have had to take a “backseat” some.