Hey guys, today I wanted to share with you how my experience was with bulking! Both the mental and physical aspects. Most of you may know that I started my bulk about two months ago, but you can read more about the why, in addition to my exact macros here. But now I’m going to catch you up to speed on everything that happened during, and why I chose to stop the bulk somewhat early.

So here’s what happened. During the two months, I increased my macros twice but still wasn’t gaining weight consistently. I was eating 500-700 calories above my baseline, and I would gain weight for a week or two and then just start to lose weight again. Initially this was really frustrating because I was hitting my macros consistently and I was making sure I was lifting heavy at the gym (6-8 reps), and I eliminated all cardio. After two months of continuing to eat more and and lift heavy, and STILL gaining and then losing weight. So at that point honestly didn’t feel like increasing my macros a third time. That’s just the honest truth. I ended up balancing out at around 135-136 lbs. So I gained a total of 2-3 over the 2 months (I was hoping for more like 6 lbs+)

When I started this bulk, I was looking forward to building some more muscle, and I was interested in trying something out of my comfort zone. I wanted to push myself a little more than I currently was and wanted to try something new. So with all that said, yes I had certain reasons behind starting the bulk but they didn’t outweigh the stress of increasing my macros for a third time and REALLY committing. I realized that those goals weren’t as important to me. I decided that I wanted to spend my energy, time and efforts improving other areas. (Remember, it’s okay to try something and realize that it’s not for you! What’s important is that you try).

Below and my before and after photos. I wanted to share these with you guys just so you can get an idea of my “progress.” I honestly don’t notice much difference between the two! As a side note, progress photos are so important! I think if I hadn’t taken any, I would have gotten in my own head and been like “I’m gaining weight, I know I look different.” And granted, that is the point of a bulk lol, BUT seeing these photos together made me realize a lot of that was in my head. So my point is, in general they are super important in measuring your progress regardless of what your goal is.

Even though the bulk was just for a couple months, it was still definitely worth it and I learned a lot. Mentally, I learned that so much of your confidence stems from how YOU view yourself from the inside out. A lot of you guys asked, how I didn’t feel insecure during it. And yes, I know I didn’t end up gaining much weight, but there was a point where I was about 5 lbs up from my starting point. I think the biggest thing is not deriving your confidence from solely how you look. Yes, I know, easier said that done. But you have to focus on OTHER things besides your stomach getting less toned. For me, I focused on how much stronger I felt, that I was able to lift heavier, and that I was working towards a goal that I was proud of. Confidence comes in many forms–you just have to find what to focus on that makes you feel empowered. I also learned that my body can handle a lot of more food than I think it can (especially when I’m lifting heavy). I mean, I was eating 500-700 calories above my baseline and once my body initially adjusted to those numbers, I started to loose weight instead of gain. And given that my body doesn’t look much difference in terms of body fat, I think those extra calories did allow me to build more muscle than I maybe realized. This process also made me realize how important it is to give your body time to adjust to changes. For example, if I would have freaked out over gaining weight and just reverted back to my old numbers, I would have never known that my body actually CAN handle a lot more food under the right conditions. It was definitely eyeopening and moving forward my baseline carbs will be much higher than they were prior.

And guys, I get that making changes to your diet and workout routine can be scary, but here’s the thing…the world isn’t going to end. You can’t do anything that isn’t irreversible. You want to try something new and see how it goes? Go for it! Don’t let staying in your comfort zone hold you back. Outside your comfort zone is where you’re going to truly learn about yourself and grow!

Do you have any questions about my bulk? Please let them below! Happy to answer 🙂

Outfit details: Entire set is PE Nation from Sculptique. Use CLAIRE20 for a discount!