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my thoughts on cancel culture

So this is a topic that has been on my mind a lot recently. I feel like before 2020 cancel culture wasn’t really a thing? Or maybe it has been but it just has a name now since 2020 has been a pretty intense year and social media is more prevalent than ever. So inevitably a lot of people’s emotions are really surfacing and these emotions end up being directed through “cancelling” people or brands that they don’t feel like align with them, or that have “wronged” them. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t think sharing your opinion, standing up for what you believe in, speaking up for what you think is right is a bad thing. In fact, we could all probably speak our mind a little more. However, my issue with the culture we now live in is that people feel like they have the right to attack others and “cancel” them when someone tries to speak up, ask questions to understand what’s going on, or god forbid make a mistake.

I’m going to be really candid here–everyone is so fucking sensitive about everything these days that you can’t say or do anything (online) without someone being offended in return. To me, it doesn’t seem like that crazy of a concept that if you don’t like what someone is saying or posting, unfollow them. We are all entitled to different opinions and THAT’S OKAY. It doesn’t give people the right to start attacking you in your comments, or saying that they are going to “cancel” you as a brand, person, etc. It’s like someone, or a brand, can give, give, give, and they make one mistake which they acknowledge and apologize for yet there’s a group of people with pitchforks that are determined to cancel them, and make them out to be terrible. And then when someone acknowledges they were wrong, takes accountability, and apologizes, it’s either: this apology is insincere, you didn’t apologize soon enough, or you apologized too quickly and therefore don’t actually care, what you did was too terrible, etc. It’s like, have none of us ever made a mistake before? It makes me sad that I feel like we live in a society where people are so quick to judge others, and assume their (bad) intentions.

It’s honestly exhausting feeling like you can’t do or say anything in today’s climate at the risk of offending someone and feeling like certain people will come after you with whatever they can conjure up. We live in a society where especially on social media, people want you to “be real”, “be unfiltered”, “be vulnerable” yet when you do any of those things, you end up getting shamed for it or someone is there to tell you that you didn’t say something in the exact right way, etc. Example. Earlier this year, I said I was going to donate a portion of my sales to a social justice organization and since I hadn’t specified the exact percentage, certain people started to attack me for being insincere, using a social justice cause to promote my own agenda, etc. I’m like would you rather me not donate at all? I’m confused. Like, maybe just say–when you decide where you’re donating to, can you please share vs. attacking someone’s intentions. It’s so strange to me. Again, we want people to “be open”, “be real”, “don’t be so filtered” but anytime someone doesn’t fit into a certain mold, there are repercussions. Like the other day Stephen told me I looked like a homeless woman in NY with this jacket I had on (actually the one in the photo above but with sweatpants and sneakers lol) and I was laughing because it was kind of true haha. But I was like, can’t say that on social because someone will take it personally and think I’m attacking/making fun of homeless people, which obviously isn’t the case. I just can’t lol.

Edit: Just to clarify, there are certain people in our society who I have no problem cancelling. Cancel culture originated from canceling people who actually deserved it (like I don’t give a F about cancelling Harvey Weinstein). I obviously don’t condone people who are racist, homophobic, etc. But it’s when people extrapolate things (often due to their own personal insecurities IMO) and start placing blame or attack on others. I mean, do we remember when some people were outraged over a Peloton commercial of a man giving his wife a Peloton because it was sexist? This is exactly what I mean lol.  Anytime Stephen wants to give me a Peloton I will gladly accept and I would just think it’s a nice gift…not my husband being sexist. Just saying!

ANYWAY. I know wishful thinking, but I just wish we lived in a society where 1. People weren’t so freaking sensitive about everything. Newsflash, not everything is a personal attack. 2. People accepted that we all have different opinions, difference senses of humor, different beliefs and it’s okay. If someone bothers you that much just unfollow them (a novel concept I know). You don’t have to voice every single thought that comes in your head (to a stranger on the internet no less). 3. Or if you really feel so strongly about something, message someone privately and have an actual conversation.

I know this post isn’t pertinent to the 99% of you that are reading this lol, but it’s just been something on my mind lately as this year has unfolded. I’m just like, when did everything have to become something? I know that I am not the most sensitive and emotional person, but honestly sometimes the way people react it’s just too much. Next time you’re so offended by something, maybe look inward and ask why it bothers you so much? I feel like most of the time, if I’m bothered by something, it’s not what the actual person/brand did or said, but it’s something they said that spurred a personal insecurity. And while that may be, the solution of isn’t to attack or cancel others. This year especially has been a tough one for so many people, and canceling each other isn’t the answer. Would love to hear your thoughts on this xxC

does one of your girlfriends need to hear this? Share away…

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  1. Kiara says:

    Claire,

    I waited a few days to respond because this is such a hard topic to discuss via the internet:

    Here’s what I am thinking, in order to discuss cancel culture for me I will need to:

    Explain why I see both sides
    How Social Media has glorified cancel culture
    Why Cancel Culture is necessary
    Why Call Out’s aren’t enough
    How race and culture play a major role

    I feel like I need a full book for this. Thanks for sharing, would love to chat more about it!

  2. Kassie says:

    I love this so much! Especially item 1. “ 1. People weren’t so freaking sensitive about everything. Newsflash, not everything is a personal attack.” Also, not everything is about you! My choices & what I say or do isn’t a referendum or reflection on anyone else’s choices etc.

    In general, maybe because we are all online more, people have been much quicker lately to be offended/unkind on social media.

    I think we all need to take a breath before reacting & canceling.

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