This is a topic that I feel like pops up in my DMs somewhat frequently from girls who are especially moving to a new city, and it’s been something that Stephen and I have discussed in the past as he had such a big friend group in Chicago and had to readjust when he moved to Raleigh (7 years ago).
Making friends as an adult can be hard. It’s not like when you’re in college and there are a ton of people around you of similar age, interests, etc. The potential friend pool gets really narrowed down when you graduate and move onto the “real world” but that doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to make friends as an adult 😉
I feel like one of the obvious places that you have a chance to meet others is at work but COVID aside, let’s say you work from home or you work for a small company and you’re looking for other ways to meet people. Here are some other tips on how to meet people outside the work place!
Just say hi! So this one does apply whether you’re at work, and really any other scenario lol. Any kind of activity with your kids (obviously we don’t have kids but I’m sure this is pertinent to moms out there), at a coffee shop, workout classes, etc. I feel like one of the best ways to start up a conversation with someone is to give them a compliment and then you can get to talking from there! I know it always feels a little uncomfortable to go out of your comfort zone but worst case scenario you have a conversion with the person and never see them again or best case scenario you guys really hit it off and you decide to grab a coffee together and become fast friends 🙂 Just remember, any time you’re nervous to say hi, the other person is probably feeling the same way — we have to get over that shyness!
Reach out over social. I feel like these days social media is such an easy way to “get to know” people in your city without necessarily meeting them in the first place. Earlier this year a girl who lives in Raleigh (it was clear we had mutual friends through social but didn’t know each other), just sent me a DM saying she would love to grab coffee sometime. I really admired her putting herself out there and loved her vibe on social and knew we had friends in common so I thought why not?! We ended up meeting for coffee and it was so great– we had a ton to talk about and really got along well. And yeah, I could have left and been like okay that was fine but not someone I’m going to be best friends with and that would have been okay too! But there isn’t any harm in meeting up for a coffee — you never know where it might lead!
Go to events in your city. I feel like when I first read this I’m like yeah okay, let me go “network” at an event, I’m sure that will turn out great! Lol. But I think now so many cities have events that really bring together likeminded women and it can be a great place to connect. For example, one of my best friends now is someone I met at an event 2 years ago in Raleigh. A boutique in the area was hosting an event where there was meditation/yoga, shopping, and a mini panel. I was one of the girls on the panel, and one of the other girls there came up to me and we just started talking –by the end of it we exchanged numbers and the next week we went to dinner (I think Stephen and her husband came as well). Anyway! They are some of our closest friends now but we never would have met if it wasn’t for that event. There was also another event last year (pre-COVID) thrown by Midtown Yoga and I really clicked with one of the other girls I met there and we’ve kept in touch all through COVID, and finally met up for lunch last month and it was awesome. Again, we had so much to talk about and she is someone that I can’t wait to get to know more once we can go out again haha. But you see my point with meeting people at events 🙂
Ask one of your girlfriends if she has other friends that you can all get together. If you’re like me, a lot of my friends are from different points in my life and so not everyone necessarily knows each other. I think it’s great to get all those girls together and you can also ask them to bring a friend to introduce to the group. One of my girlfriend’s did this one year with a Galentines Day party she had and it was a great way to get a lot of girls together that didn’t necessarily already know each other. And it doesn’t have to be a special event like Galentines, it can just be that everyone meets for dinner or drinks one night.
If y’all have any other suggestions would love to hear them!