If you were following along with my Italy trip, you probably know that I had a few realizations while I was over there!
Before leaving on the trip, I wasn’t in the best headspace which I know I shared with you. In general, I’ve come a long way when it comes to my workouts and nutrition. When I first started my “fitness journey” I would feel very anxious if I wasn’t eating perfectly clean almost every day of the week, and I’d always work out 6x a week. Obviously, a lot has changed. I since moved to counting macros because I wanted more flexibility in my diet, and I started working out 4-5 days a week. For the past couple years I’ve found a really good balance with this approach. I’ve been much less stressed when it comes to my diet because I’ve learned that food is just food (it doesn’t need to be labeled good or bad). As far as workouts go, working out 4x a week is perfectly fine to see results! I’ve learned that you don’t need to be killing yourself at the gym 6 days out of the week.
With all of that said, even though I’ve made huge strides when it comes to my mindset, I’m human and have insecurities and doubts. Am I doing enough? Do I look good enough? Could I be doing more? It also doesn’t help when your job is social media and there are fitness bloggers and personal trainers constantly on your feed. I kept having thoughts like, should I be working harder so I can be “more in shape”? Should I get stricter with my diet/macros? Part of me was frustrated that I wasn’t as lean as I once was. I don’t like admitting that I let something like that bother me because it seems trivial but it’s how I was feeling. And even though I wanted to make “better progress” I knew that it would take a certain amount of dedication and discipline regarding my macros and workouts, and that lifestyle just didn’t seem to align with me anymore. Bottom line, I felt like I was having this huge inner struggle between wanting to look a certain way but also understanding that that type of lifestyle just doesn’t interest me anymore. I just didn’t know which direction I wanted to go. On top of that, I was also feeling this weight on my shoulders, to fit the mold of a “fitness blogger” because I felt like that’s what people were coming to me for. So I was feeling like I needed to continue solely in that direction in order to be “successful” and provide value.
When we got to Italy, I knew I wasn’t going to worry about my macros but I brought gym clothes because honestly, I did plan on working out some while I was there (FYI I didn’t end up working out once)! As the days passed though, I was feeling so much happier just living and not being so focused on my diet or workouts. But I was still feeling this weight on my shoulders…I texted my good friend and told her how I’ve been stressing myself out to look a certain way because I’m “supposed” to be a fitness & health blogger but in reality, I actually prefer sharing lifestyle content. I love sharing about how to live your best life (which does include fitness and health), but it’s not authentic for me to get on here (esp. while in Italy) to talk about how I’m eating, or how I’m working out. Because the reality is I’m just enjoying my trip and I don’t care about the macros or the workouts. She replied back with something I really needed to hear. She said, babe, listen you’re not SUPPOSED TO BE a “fitness” blogger. The one piece of advice I can give you is to do what YOU enjoy. There’s no reason you can’t share about it all. The only thing stopping you is yourself.
This really hit home for me. For months and months, I have been so preoccupied and stressed about what I “should” be doing and what’s “best” for my business vs. just doing what I feel like I’m being called to share/do. Being away also made me realize how happy I am with my lifestyle, which includes how I look! Meaning, I was happy with my approach to health and fitness before I started looking around at what other people were doing, and what they looked like.
Being in Italy reminded me that I genuinely have so many other interests (and things that I want to share with you about) but I was putting myself in this box of “fitness” because I felt like it’s what I needed to do. This kind of leads me to my next thought regarding my macros and workouts. I’m at the point where I’m kind of tired of obsessing over it all. Like one month I want my butt bigger so I’m going to change my workouts and change my macros. A few months later I don’t want my butt to grow anymore, but my stomach is getting too soft so let me change up my macros and workouts again. Now let me just say, there is NOTHING wrong with this. I totally get this approach to fitness. I understand that everyone has goals, and some of those goals include aesthetic ones. I guess I’m personally just kind of tired of being so focused on that. Being in Italy made me remember how many other things I enjoy doing and sharing, and how I just don’t want to spend that much time focused on my diet and workouts. Because the reality is, all those “fitspo” people you see on IG aren’t really living…or we never see any of their life outside of macros/clean eating and the gym. And that’s just not for me!
Okay so what does this all mean?
With my workouts, I’m still aiming for my 4-5x a week but I’m going to be focusing more on workouts that I genuinely enjoy. For example, maybe I’ll do a spin or pilates class! I rarely do them because I don’t feel like it changes my body as much as weights but who cares! If I enjoy doing them every once in a while, I should. I shouldn’t be so focused on the physical that I can’t branch out. I want to workout because it feels good and it’s a privilege to be able to move my body. I’m also doing workouts that are effective but quick! In the past, if I’ve had a strict goal I’d spend an hour plus at the gym. Don’t really feel like doing that anymore LOL. My workouts are usually around 45 min, an hour tops.
Alright, so my diet. This is honestly a hard one for me to say because I feel like so many of you follow me for macros or know me for macros. Right now though, I don’t feel like my lifestyle is really aligning with tracking. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad that I counted macros for several years as it has really helped me understand what’s in certain food and what my body needs. It’s been a super valuable resource, and I still encourage people to even count for 1 month even if they never plan on counting again, just so they can understand more about what they’re eating. TBH at this point, even though macros are pretty second nature to me and don’t take a ton of added time, I just don’t want to think of food in that way right now. I want my diet and workouts to just be another part of my day and not something that is taking away from other areas of my life. I hope that makes sense? I’m not saying that I’ll never count macros again, I just know that right now I want to put my time and effort into other things. So in a nutshell, I’ll be doing more of intuitive eating 🙂
Right now I just want to focus on what makes me truly happy each day and not worry so much about what other people are doing, and what I “should” be doing and being so focused on looking a certain way. Being in Italy helped remind me that I just need to do what I truly enjoy. Do you have any thoughts on making this shift? I know I’ve talked about it on my IG posts here and here, but would love to hear any other thoughts you all have or if you’ve made similar changes at any point and how you felt about it 🙂